What You've Become Is Not Who I Remember
by Holz090
Summary: Rob confronts Carla about her recent traumas.


**Because I doubt Corrie will do us the justice of giving us this scene. For Eden because she nagged me to write it :)**

**Lyrics are from a Missy Higgins song. **

* * *

_And you're only half here._

_Like someone left a frail body and took the rest. _

_But I remember when you were strong and never wanted help from no one. _

_What you've become is not who I remember._

_Is this the cooling of the embers?_

He watched her clutch her coffee cup as though it were a life support; saw the dead-behind-the-eyes expression on her face as she flicked through another mountain of paperwork left scattered on her desk and wondered how he'd not noticed the change before.

He sighed; he already knew the answer. He'd been so wrapped up in own life, his own vendettas and his own axes to grind that he'd barely given a single thought to how his sister's life had changed since they'd last met. If he'd taken a single second to stop and think, he'd have seen that the girl he'd grown up with, the tough, witty, confident woman he'd left behind all those years ago was a mere shadow of her former self. But no, he'd just walked in, blinkered, and launched yet another campaign of hate against her just because it made him feel better.

She turned quickly, alarmed by a noise he must have made without realizing, and he instinctively snapped back into his usual mode, as though he'd just walked through the door and not stood there watching her for almost five minutes.

"Oh. What do you want?" Carla asked bluntly, not meeting his eye.

"Well," he entered the office fully now, leaning one arm against the back of her chair. "Last time I checked, I worked here".

"Ha!" She scoffed, putting her mug down and reaching for a pen. "_Worked _being the operative word. Until you decided to play lord of the manor and lost us one of our biggest clients." She scribbled something down a post-it note and threw the pad aimlessly to the other end of the desk.

He shifted his weight from one foot to the other awkwardly. "Yeah, about that-"

"I don't wanna hear it, Rob." She cut him off sharply. "Look, it was a mistake hiring you in the first place, I mean…" She shrugged, either not knowing how to finish her sentence or just not having the energy.

"Yeah, maybe. I am sorry though"

"Mm."

The room fell silent as Rob flicked through a folder of designs Michelle had left on the desk opposite. The models in the photos gazed lustfully at the camera and the irony of the environment in which they were working after what he'd just been told felt suddenly dramatic. Still, sex sells.

He clicked the roof of his mouth with his tongue, mentally debating the best way to handle this conversation. He knew full well this was neither the time nor the place, but knew just as strongly that ignoring it for any longer would be futile and wrong. He placed the folder back down the desk and turned to face his sister, perching lightly on the corner of Michelle's desk. "Carla, listen…"

"Look, forget it. I'll ring them tomorrow and try and salvage something, I dunno"

"No it's… It's not about the contract".

Carla looked up, visibly frustrated. "Well what is it then because if you hadn't noticed I'm up to my eyeballs in work as it is".

There was no gentle way to say this, no smooth introduction he could offer her. "Michelle told me about Frank."

Her eyes widened for a moment, before shooting down to the desk in a sudden, intense embarrassment. She sniffed, straightening up a pile of paper that was already perfectly arranged in a bid to deflect from the situation. "Well she had no right" She replied, bluntly.

Rob pulled Michelle's chair over to the edge of Carla's desk, sitting right on the edge of it, placing a supportive hand next to hers. "Why didn't you tell me, Carla?"

"Why didn't I tell you?" She said in a whisper, grinning in mock amusement. "I'll swing for 'Chelle".

"No, don't. She didn't wanna tell me, I…" He paused, knowing any explanation would be pointless. "I'm glad she told me. I can't even begin to imagine, I mean…"

Their eyes met for the shortest of moments, and though she'd never admit to it and he could never prove it, Rob knew he saw a flash of something in her eyes. For a tiny moment the walls came down and he saw a haunted, desperate woman reaching out to him. The way she quickly blinked and turned her head away brought tears to his eyes as he struggled to keep hold of her hand before she tore herself free.

"I'm so sorry, Carla".

And he was. Sorry he hadn't been there; sorry for not noticing, or for making himself appear so unapproachable that she couldn't tell him. If it hadn't been for the man he'd spent the entire time since he'd arrived insulting, his sister would be dead right now and it would all be his fault. No wonder she'd been so quick to defend her boyfriend – it all made sense now. He harped on so much about family and loyalty, but the stone cold truth was that he'd let her down, and he wasn't sure he could ever make it up to her.

"What have you got to be sorry for?" She barely looked up, staring blankly at the computer screen in front of her. "You couldn't have done anything, you weren't here".

"Exactly".

She sighed in apparent defeat, turning to face her brother for the first time since he'd walked in. "Ok so, I should've told you. I didn't because… well, it was hardly something I could just dump on you in the middle of a prison visit was it? 'So how's life? Oh by the way, my fiancé raped me'."

Rob struggled to keep the eye contract as his mind flooded with harrowing images of the hell his sister must have gone through.

"But that wasn't your fault…" She added quickly, seeing his expression change. "And… and besides, I'm ok now, y'know. And I wasn't alone and… And I survived, Rob. Ok? And now it's… it's gone. It's in the past and that's where it's gonna stay". She tried to reassure him.

Rob's eyes filled with tears now. "But Carla, I could've come out of prison last week to find my sister was dead and I…-" His voice cut out, his hands instinctively covering his face, embarrassed to let his sister see him cry.

Carla grabbed Rob's hand, shaking her head and blinking away tears herself. "Rob I am so, so sorry".

"Don't be sorry. Be anything you like but please don't be sorry!" He turned his head quickly as the main doors bang shut as the workers began to return from their lunch break. Wiping his eyes he spun back round, knowing better than to give the any reason to suspect any intimate discussion was taking place.

As he stood up, he held Carla's gaze a final time. "Just promise me one thing, sis. Please just… just know that you can always talk to me, ok?"

"Ok" She smiled, a tear bouncing off her lip. "Now come on," she pushed a clump of hair away from her face, attempting to regain composure. "Get out of here before that lot start thinking we like each other!"


End file.
